I
Light opens on a political rally. Floating placards with colorful inscriptions #MOFE 2023, #OUR FUTURE IS NOW, #Take it back #BELIEVE, rends the air as the crowd cheer on Mofe, an animated young presidential aspirant. It is an aerial view from his standpoint. Around him
are a handful of young people with a carefully rehearsed candour.

MOFE: I will not make promises that will liken me to those people you are running away from. By my principles, I will tell you the truth based on my capacity to deliver. And yes, we can. Who said we are incapable of creating the Nigeria of our dreams?

The crowd is thrown into a round of frenzy as he patiently waits before continuing.

It is time to take it back. Our future does not lie with those who ruled our grandparents, who made terrible choices that plunged us into the mess of a country that we are. It lies with us. We are the future. Our future is now.

Another round of cheer from the crowd causes him to pause. He reaches for a handkerchief in his pocket and wipes the bits of sweat on his forehead

Like every other Nigerian, especially young people, I am passionate about seeing a new Nigeria. It is the core of my decision to run for office. Rather than acquiring exotic mansions in choice world areas, my intention is borne out of the desire to lead Nigeria into a future of our dreams, not just for the few but for the majority of us. They say I am inexperienced. Can someone explain to me please, like I am a 5 year old, what our veterans, with the wealth of experience under their belt have achieved for us as a country in our 22 years of uninterrupted democracy?

His speech is again punctuated with yet a louder roar from the crowd. One of his team members’ whispers into his ears as the noise gradually dies down
I am not a politician. And unlike politicians, it is against my principles to engage in politics of bitterness. But I would like to believe we are ready to take back our future whether or not that comes into play.

Mofe! Mofe! Mofe! Chants erupt just as an overzealous young man charges forward with a
placard boldly written #TAKE IT BACK 2023. Some hired security guards prevent him from
going beyond them. Mofe signals his approval upon spotting the situation.

This young man here (holding him across the shoulder) is an avid representation of what we can achieve if we decide to push beyond the limit, to not hold back, to be confrontational and specific with our choices. It is the Nigerian spirit which we all embody. It is time to make it manifest.

Shake hands with the young man as they engage in an inaudible exchange while the song rises again. He collects the placard from the man, lifts it to the admiration of the crowd and dances to the inordinate tunes of his repeated name chorus.

II

Lights on in a lush sitting room. Sleek sofas with gold plated edges arranged in a half moon face a wall-sized television. At the centre is a spherical glass table on which lays a remote control. Pastor Dandy Ekpenyong, a 62 years old presidential aspirant, is playing host to his
counterpart, Senator Omenuko Nkume, 59. The latter drops a glass of wine on a side stool.

SENATOR NKUME: Who is this one again kwanu? (Chuckles) is he not supposed to be
an okada man at Gwagwalada? (Now laughing hard)
PASTOR: Who?
SENATOR NKUME: The boy (pointing to the screen) who thinks politics is tumbo
tumbo. I wonder how lazy they have become in real time they can
no longer walk the streets in search of jobs.
PASTOR: Wait. (Lifts up his head from a newspaper) What? Don’t tell me
you have been paying attention to that coackroach who invites
himself to the feast of cocks?
SENATOR NKUME: A coackroach indeed (Both laugh) my brother, it is just a pastime.
PASTOR: I would rather watch zee world than listen to a pauper who doesn’t
know the functions of a ward councilor in a local Government, talk
less of spearheading a country with over 200 million people and
over 500 ethnic groups.
SENATOR NKUME: The boy nwere obi; he has mind. But this kind of thing is not going
to work in our country. I heard he graduated from an American
university. Did he not learn about Nigerian politics there too?
PASTOR: I see. I see. (Nodding knowingly) so what else do you know about
him?
SENATOR NKUME: What do you mean by what else do I know about him? Don’t tell
me you feel threatened.
PASTOR: Mofeoluwa Bankole, 39, professional Businessman and
management strategist, one time committee member of the united
nations arm of business development, 2 time board member
African union poverty alleviation scheme, son of Bankole Ajibade,
a one-time permanent secretary of the Lagos state ministry of
interior. What did I miss? Adding it up would hardly come close to
matching my CV by the way.
SENATOR NKUME: Chief Dr Dandy Ekpenyong, grass root politician, practically held
all political positions available, bar the highest in the land.
PASTOR: You don’t forget the pastor tittle so easily.
SENATOR NKUME: Oh, forgive me. I would never downplay the implications. (Both
Laughs)
PASTOR: Now you know why I demanded for more information. (with a
mischievous smile buries his head in his newspaper)
SENATOR NKUME: Errrm, not at all…. I think you know so much about your opponent
and rightly so.
PASTOR: He is not an opponent.
SENATOR NKUME: No one has so much information about someone they don’t care
about.
PASTOR: (Looks up) the game requires you to keep your enemies closer, but
that’s not to say he’s an enemy. I thought you should know better
Mr Senator. 16 years in government as governor and senator is a
long time to know.
SENATOR NKUME: He is an ally then?
PASTOR: Mofe will make my job easier
SENATOR NKUME: Someone to distract the crowd and shift focus from the primary
aspirants
PASTOR: It took you so long.
SENATOR NKUME: Is this about chief Tokunbo?
PASTOR: Now you are thinking like a politician.
SENATOR NKUME: That one that doesn’t have any more teeth remaining, he can barely
chew his vegetables.
PASTOR: That toothless old man has singlehandedly gripped an entire state
for years.
SENATOR NKUME: But he has no life left in him. He cannot be president.
PASTOR: One dead Akinfenwa is stronger than 1 million healthy Mofes.
SENATOR NKUME: Did you not see in the news the other day when he shit on himself,
while paying a courtesy visit to a certain Oba?
PASTOR: (Hysteric laughter) Apparently, Gambari was right when he said
most Nigerian politicians wear pampers.
SENATOR NKUME: (In-between punctuated laughter) seriously, if this man becomes
the president, he will spend more days in a UK hospital than days
in office.
PASTOR: He might as well rule the country from the grave.
SENATOR NKUME: Anything is possible but not when you are his chief opponent. You
should have a realistic plan targeted at nullifying that possibility. I
am your friend; you can talk to me about anything. You have my
full backing.
Pastor sips wine staring blankly

III
In Chief tokunbo akinfenwa’s bedroom, a king-sized bed is in the middle of the spacious room where chief, alleged 62, lays supine. It is flanked by sofas on either side. Sitted on the right is senator Nkume squeezing his face. A foul smell fills room.

CHIEF: We can convince them to change their minds on the rally… to a
later date perhaps.
SENATOR NKUME: The party insists on tomorrow despite the doctor’s advice that you
are not fit to walk about.
CHIEF: Put a call through to Ibrahim Waziri.
SENATOR NKUME: He has been avoiding my calls.
CHIEF: (with a rueful smile) funny how someone I made chairman of my
party thinks he can betray me.
SENATOR NKUME: From all indications, he has. In fact, they all have; nobody wants to
listen to me speak about you or your interest.
CHIEF: Not that I needed their help to become the president by the way.
SENATOR NKUME: And about the rally?CHIEF: Nothing other than pissing and shitting will happen if I avail myself.
SENATOR NKUME: Are you planning on defying the doctor’s advice?
CHIEF: Silly, silly question.
SENATOR NKUME: You could barely stand and… errrrrm… you need to be properly
padded to prevent… the smell that may arise.
CHIEF: (Laughs) Who is this one; who told you I plan leaving here
anytime soon?
SENATOR NKUME: Ahhh… I was scared for you. Dandy is planning something big
and that would just have aided him. (Under his breath) I shouldn’t
have said that.
CHIEF: Dandy plans so many things but forgets that my intention is not
borne out of stubbornness but to provide leadership by example
through courage, fearlessness, equity, and justice to serve and
empower the people, which is why he always fails. I would rule
this country, from the grave even, and there is nothing anyone can
do about it.
SENATOR NKUME: Not this time chief, because apart from planning collaboration with
the supposed pauper in Mofe, he plans to leak the footage of you in
your pool of shit, contract journalists to gain entrance into your
home through the help of the president and expose the full details
of the bullion van….
CHIEF: Enough! I can keep money anywhere I want.
(Tries adjusting his position on the bed which forces Senator
Nkume to the restroom)
I am stopping no one from being the president. Anybody can be the president, even Mofe, I
particularly like him, but it is my turn. His grandfather, Ajibade, was my classmate in standard
six during the good old days. I will like to support him but that will be after me.
SENATOR NKUME: (From the bathroom) ermmm….. Did I hear you say his
grandfather?
CHIEF: Yes, his grandfather. During the 60s we linked up in the civil
service before he went on a self-imposed exile after challenging
the military government at the time.
SENATOR NKUME: Wow! You look much younger than your age.
CHIEF: How about stopping the rally?
SENATOR NKUME: How so chief?
CHIEF: Ekpenyong, get him out of the way and return all focus back to me.
SENATOR NKUME: (Now out of the restroom) Are you asking me to…
CHIEF: I can ask you to do whatever I want, whatever. Anything that
would aid my ambition.
SENATOR NKUME: But he is my friend and you know…
CHIEF: With whom lies your loyalty, Nkume? One more complain and
you become the hunted. Whatever it is you are today, you owe it to
me. I am the kingmaker, the Jagaban of Africa, the last man
standing. I call the shots here.
Blackout

Uchenna Edwin Eze is an undergraduate student of English at UNN. An emerging screenwriter with a soon to be produced web series to his name, he writes shabby poems in his down moments and is deeply fascinated by art. He has works featured in fiction Niche mag and elsewhere.