SCENE ONE

Somewhere in Maikontri University, during a protracted industrial action by the Universities’ Union. Light captures CHIMA, in the compound of Star Hostel, polishing his shoes and singing.

CHIMA: Aboki shine my shoe
Shine my shoe
Aboki shine my shoe
Shine my shoe
I want to go to won o
My work too de sweet o
Shine my shoe…
(Amanda staggers in, drowsy, she yawns.)


CHIMA: (Rudely) Hey! Don’t swallow me. If you are hungry, as I suspect you are, go to your mother’s house and eat rather than yawning carelessly here…
AMANDA: (Retorts) Eh-eh, hold your peace. Who told you I’m hungry? As supple as my skin? (Showing off her body)
CHIMA: (Sarcastically) Sometimes, hunger is not overtly written on the face, it could be hidden in the intestine.
AMANDA: (Giving up) Okay, e don do. I can see you’re polishing your shoes, where to?
CHIMA: And where does one go with polished shoes?
AMANDA: Is it a crime to know?
CHIMA: It’s a crime to deny me privacy.
AMANDA: What is private about this matter now, eh? Shouldn’t a wife know where her husband is going to?
CHIMA: (Alarmed) What did you just say?
AMANDA: What did you just hear?
CHIMA: Look here my friend, you are just my girlfriend, not my wife…
AMANDA: Ehe? What’s the difference?
CHIMA: One is divine, the other is mundane.
AMANDA:So?
CHIMA: We are operating under the latter.
AMANDA: If that is the case, I am booking you in advance for the divine. (Playfully, resting on his left shoulder) I don’t want stories that touch.
CHIMA: (Pushes her away, feigning anger) You are out of your mind. Was that how your mother got married? By…“booking in advance”? By the way, who told you I have plans to marry any soon? Even if I want to, where is the money?
AMANDA: (Soothingly) Don’t worry, honey. You will find a better job upon graduation, probably, in an oil company, and (snaps her finger) we are made.
CHIMA: Oil company? (scoffs) Red or Groundnut oil?
AMANDA: That’s your business, oil is oil, red, groundnut o, crude o, palm…
CHIMA: And what about the company?
AMANDA: Company is company, shell, filling station or black market.
CHIMA: Keep day dreaming.
AMANDA: And who is day dreaming? How possible is it to be awake and still dream?
CHIMA: (Drops the shoe in his hand) As you can see, it is very possible, for your are currently in such state.
AMANDA: (Confused) How?
CHIMA: You talk as if my father owns the country. (Mockingly) “You’ll graduate, secure a job in an oil company, then we’re made”. (sits down)
AMANDA: Is it too lofty?
CHIMA: (Springs up) You seem to forget that there is an army of unemployed graduates and the same fate awaits almost everyone.
AMANDA: You are right. But… things fit change o.
CHIMA: True! Only when we start having leaders who are concerned with the present and next generation and not these crooks who, when once they grab power, they begin to plot for the next election.
AMANDA: Well, that’s by the way, (reaching out to his shoulders again) when are you travelling?
CHIMA: (Rhetorically) To where? Since you’ve known me in this hostel, have you ever seen me travel? I have an impoverished family that I do not wish to disturb.
AMANDA: In that case, I’m staying back because my family is also in the same shoes as yours. I just pray they call off this strike.
CHIMA: Amen. (Begins to lace his shoes)
AMANDA: So. Where to? (Chima hesitates) Hmm? You won’t tell? Ok (Turns to leave)
CHIMA: Ok wait …. I…. I dey go work
AMANDA: Which work?
CHIMA: Men’s work
AMANDA: Meaning?
CHIMA: For men only
AMANDA: At where?
CHIMA: Nowhere
AMANDA: Who employed you?
CHIMA: Idleness and hunger.
AMANDA: With which certificate?
CHIMA: The work doesn’t require certificate, only determination and the will to survive. No interview, no training, no promotion, no retrenchment.
AMANDA: (Stunned) This work go make sense o.
CHIMA: Indeed, but very risky too. Most times one is unaware of the house he intends to minister to, like, how it looks like, how many occupants and the kind of property they have.
AMANDA: (Swallows hard) Wait o, you mean robbery?
CHIMA: Na you see am like that. I only preach with pistol. I enter your house, minister to you and, led by the spirit, you give me your tithe and I walk home, simple.
AMANDA: Holy Ghost fire! I cease to be your girlfriend to avoid dying another’s death.
CHIMA: Too late, honey, you have already consumed more than enough to implicate you as an accomplice, so you better behave.
AMANDA: (Unperturbed) Cheap blackmail! Veeery cheap blackmail! Anyway, what are friends for if not for the inconveniences of keeping little secrets as this. (Hugs him firmly) Meanwhile, I am hungry. Anything for the girl?
CHIMA: Something dey o, but na thief thief money o, make I still give you?
AMANDA: Before nko? What difference does it make now? As long as I am concerned I don’t know how it comes about.
CHIMA: (Smiles) Correct babe.
AMANDA: You can bank on my trust, I guarantee you my fidelity. Come what may, Delilah would be loyal to the Philistines. You are my Philistine.
CHIMA: And you are my Delilah.
(As he fondles his pocket to settle Amanda, Ade, Ibrahim and Ejiro enter the stage, all dressed)


EJIRO: Come, Chiboy, you never ready since then?
CHIBOY: E remain to wear my shoe. (Bends to wear them)
AMANDA: (To Chima) Your fellow preachers?
ADE, IBRAHIM AND EJIRO:Heeey!!! (They chorus in surprise)
EJIRO: Chei! Yawa don gas. So you don run go tell am already? I talk am. I talk am say na you go spoil our show. Romeo, na only you be fine boy wey dey get girlfriend, e come be say na for de same hostel. Now see wetin you don cause.
CHIMA: Your mouth no de pain you? You jus de talk anyhow. I don warn am, nothing de happen.
ADE: (Snaps in) How you take sure?
CHIMA: Because she go follow chop de kasala wen e burst.
IBRAHIM: See as e sweet por my mouth. I don porget am say women I gwet am por vottom fower kwo? She go use vottom kwomot por tarabul, we go kwom die por cell.
CHIMA: Nothing like that go happen.
ADE: So, e be you like say Amanda no fit use bottom power? You no get sense.
(Chima is dumb struck. He eyes Amanda for reassurance. She is silent)
EJIRO: (Angrily) I quit. (He makes to leave)
CHIMA: (Restraining him) before you quit think of why we began.
ADE: Sanko no follow for de plan.
IBRAHIM: Wallai!
(They turn to leave. Chima tries to stop them. Scuffle ensues)


AMANDA: (Intervening) Ok! Ok! Stop. (Yells) I said stop it. (They stop. Turn to her) you can count on my allegiance. I depend so much on Chima for survival, so, my lips are zipped.
(Chima regains confidence. He stretches out his hand.)
CHIMA: For the sake of survival
(They hesitate. Chima’s hand remains stretched, as they all turn to Amanda. She nods in affirmation.)
ALL: (Joining their right hands to Chima’s) For the sake of survival.

(They exit the stage. The song ‘palava’ rises shortly).

Rapper, Poet, Playwright and Essayist, Ịfésịnáchị Nwádịké holds a BA and MA in English Literature from Imo State University and University of Ibadan respectively. A 2018 Ebedi International Writers Residency Alumni, his works have appeared in AKE Review, Saturday Sun Review, ANA Review, Praxis, Naij.com, Naijaxclusive, Black Boy Review, and elsewhere. He is the Founding Editor of Ngiga Review and Ngiga Book Club. His play, published in this edition is an excerpt from his long play, Dawn of the Uprising.