I
THINKING GOD
LIGHTS
Sir Albert’s sitting room. It is evening. A kerosene lamp is on the wooden table at the centre of the stage. The decoration of the room cannot be seen. A door is at the left and right stage wall. The curtains hanging loose on the door frames don’t flow to the ground. Sir Albert is sitting on the couch at the centre stage. He is in shorts and singlet, placing a radio on his left ear. Enter Nwanna through the left door. He is in well ironed shirt and trouser. The lines on his shirt are macheting.
NWANNA: My teacher, great, I met you. Good evening. (moves to the right stage)
SIR ALBERT: (drops the radio on the table) Nwanna. Is anything the matter? Were you looking for me? It has not been long I returned though. Did you hear that your former governor, the animal, declared interest for the presidential seat?
NWANNA: Nothing shocks me again in this country. Something is bordering me that’s why I came.
SIR ALBERT: Something is bordering you? Is that why you cannot sit in my house? I have Campari.
NWANNA: Campari can wait. Sir, where can I find God?
SIR ALBERT: Where can you find God? Make me understand your question, Teacher.
NWANNA: I want to find God. I want to know if the existence of God is real. I want to encounter God.
SIR ALBERT: I think you should direct this question to your pastor. He should be able to provide you with an answer.
NWANNA: I saw my pastor before coming to you, sir. You are wise. Everyone in this neighbourhood knows you are a wise man.
SIR ALBERT: You want to continue from where Vladimir and Estragon stopped.
NWANNA: (laughs) No it is not true. (moves to the left stage) Vladimir and Estragon were waiting for Godot.
SIR ALBERT: Vladimir and Estragon waited for Godot. You are looking for Godot. (stands up)
NWANNA: Teacher. Who is God? What is his religion? Where can I find him?
SIR ALBERT: I was this curious about finding God years back until I found him.
NWANNA: You found God? (moves closer to him) Where did you find him.
SIR ALBERT: Do you have a friend who is a Christian?
NWANNA: Yes. His name is Joshua.
SIR ALBERT: Do you have a friend who is a Muslim?
NWANNA: Yes. His name is Adisa? Why do you ask?
SIR ALBERT: Do you have a friend who is a traditional worshipper?
NWANNA: Why do you ask? My friend Obikaego is one.
SIR ALBERT: They will help you find God. Do you have an atheist friend?
NWANNA: My friend Kingsley is an atheist. How can they help me find God?
SIR ALBERT: This is what you will do, call them for a meeting, the four of them must be present at the meeting. There, you will find God.
NWANNA: I don’t even understand.
SIR ALBERT: You don’t have to understand. Just do as I say. You will find God.
(Sir Albert takes his radio and leaves through the right door. Nwanna moves around on the stage pocketing his hands.)
II
FINDING GOD
Nwanna’s sitting room. It is morning. Except for the cupboard filled with books at the left stage and old couches nothing is spectacular about the sitting room. Joshua is sitting on the couch at the centre stage. He is in a fat suit cuddling a fat Bible. Adisa is sitting on the couch at the left stage. He is in a black gown. Kingsley is sitting on the couch at the right stage. He is in fat shirt and shorts. Obikaego is standing at the down stage left folding his hands. He is in white shirt and blue trousers. Nwanna is standing behind the couch at the centre stage.
KINGSLEY: Nwanna. Why did you invite us here?
NWANNA: I told you it is a meeting.
JOSHUA: What kind of meeting? Meeting with the people that I don’t know? What is the meeting about?
NWANNA: Relax. What if we start by introducing ourselves? Introduce yourselves. I don’t need any introduction. You all are my friends.
JOSHUA: I am Evangelist Joshua of Power Ministry Race.
OBIKAEGO: I am Obikaego. I am the custodian of Aja Idemili, the gods of my fathers.
(Joshua shakes his head.)
ADISA: I am Adisa. I am from Kano.
KINGSLEY: I am Kingsley. Nice meeting you guys.
NWANNA: The meeting is about…
JOSHUA: Wait. Before you proceed let’s welcome the holy Spirit.
KINGSLEY: Don’t even do that here. What holy spirit do you want to welcome? There is no such thing. When you reach your church or house you call the holy spirit there.
OBIKAEGO: (laughs) The white people sold holy spirit to them and sold the Devil to us. We should call Aja Idemili not your Holy Spirit.
JOSHUA: (stands up) Nwanna, so this is the type of people you brought to the same meeting with me.
ADISA: Who are you calling type of people? I pray that Allah will save you and your holy spirit.
JOSHUA: Now I understand that it was God’s plan that I should be in this meeting to deliver you sinners.
KINGSLEY: (stands up) Mumu. Which God? Who is deceiving you? There is no God. Nothing like God. God does not exist. God exists only in your head.
(Nwanna is watching them in confusion)
OBIKAEGO: If it is not Aja Idemili then it is a dead God. Your God is the white man’screation. It does not exist. Your pastors always visit Aja Idemili with goats and fowls begging Aja nna’m to bring followers to them and give them power. Stop deceiving yourself.
ADISA: (stands up) I doubt that the both of you are fine in the head. If you don’t worship Allah you are useless. Your God is useless. Allah is the only way to redemption.
NWANNA: This is not why we are here guys.
JOSHUA: This is why we are here. If a soul is saved today (moves) heaven will celebrate.
KINGSLEY: Don’t near me if you don’t want me to blow you and that your God. Tell me, what evidence do you have that the existence of Jesus and your God is real?
ADISA: They don’t have any evidence.
OBIKAEGO: Allow him to defend his white God.
JOSHUA: What other evidence do you need? God is the creator of heaven and earth. He is the one who created me and you. He sent his only begotten son Jesus to die for us.
KINGSLEY: This is the part I was waiting for. How did he conceive Jesus Christ? Was he married? Was there a female God in heaven that we don’t know?
JOSHUA: If you know your Bible you won’t be asking dead questions.
OBIKAEGO: He did not ask dead questions, answer him?
JOSHUA: Answer who? You, how did your blind God Aja Idemili come into existence.
OBIKAEGO: (laughs) Aja Idemili Nna’m is the God of my fathers. Aja Idemili was Here long before the white people brought a white God to you. In fact Àjà Idemili was one of the few gods the white people couldn’t steal.
Five girls enter through the left door followed by three men who are carrying drums under their armpits. The drummers are in shorts. Their broad chests are heaving. The girls are in colourful dresses. Their faces and arms are painted with white colour. The drummers beat the drums in successive rhythm. The girls take their positions at the down stage centre, and bend and gyrate their waists to the rhythm of the drums. Three girls and two boys enter through the left door and move behind the couch at the centre stage and form the chorus.
AJA AGU FULU OO, BELU EBELU
IDEMILIAJA UGO NA AFU, BELU EBELU
IDEMILI
The dancers look up while shaking their body on a spot. The lead dancer kneels and raises her hands up. The other dancers run around her raising their hands up. The drummers stop beating the drums immediately and leave through the left door. The dancers and chorus follow them.
ADISA: This people can dance.
JOSHUA: They are dancing to hell fire.
OBIKAEGO: The tiger hides when Aja Idemili appears. The eagle hides.
KINGSLEY: Oga please can you stop this rubbish talk. There is nothing like Aja
Idemili. You have been deceived.
OBIKAEGO: I don’t even know where you belong but you should know better.
NWANNA: Guys, it’s enough. It’s enough. (moves and sits on the couch at the left stage)
ADISA: May Allah forgive all of you.
JOSHUA: I think I was rude. (moves) Please give your lives to Christ. He is the only
way to eternal life.
KINGSLEY: (laughs) Apart from the eternal life what else will I benefit if I give my life to your God.
JOSHUA: What else is more important than eternal life?
KINGSLEY: (turns to Obikaego) Obikaego, what will I benefit if I give my life to Àjà Idemili?
OBIKAEGO: Aja Idemili is the God of your fathers. Keep your hands clean. He will protect you and give everything you want in life.
KINGSLEY: If I am to choose between either of the Gods I will choose Aja Idemili but it does not exist. The two of you are deceiving yourselves. There is nothing like God. Worship yourself. You are the only God you ought to worship.
ADISA: Their Gods don’t exist. Allah will give you rest if you try him.
OBIKAEGO: I know what we will do. Joshua, call on your God to tell you things about Kingsley that we don’t know, I will call on Aja Idemili Nna’m too. Whatever your God tells you and whatever Aja Idemili tells me, Kingsley will confirm if it’s true or not. Adisa do you want to call on Allah too?
ADISA: Don’t call my name again. You don’t play with Allah.
KINGSLEY: Obikaego call on Aja Idemili to tell you the name of my mother while Joshua calls his God to tell him the name of my father.
OBIKAEGO: (laughs) The name of your mother is Theresa. (Kingsley looks at Obikaego in awe) She is fair in complexion. She is a farmer.
KINGSLEY: I don’t believe you. It is either Nwanna told you about my mother or you are a magician. I don’t believe you. (Adisa moves and sits on the couch at the centre stage)
OBIKAEGO: (laughs) I know you will not believe Aja Idemili. But let us hear from Joshua too. His Jesus can tell him the name of your father.
JOSHUA: My Jesus does not fall for temptation and does not engage the devil. This was exactly what the serpent told Jesus Christ after his fasting. The devil wanted Jesus to turn stone into bread.
KINGSLEY: Oga what is my father’s name? Stop talking rubbish.
OBIKAEGO: It is obvious that his Jesus and God don’t know your father’s name. He will still claim that his God created your father. A God that does not know the name of his creature.
(Adisa laughs).
JOSHUA: I pray that my God the creator of the universe will reveal the truth to you so that you don’t die a sinner.
OBIKAEGO: The name of his father is Okoh. He is a trader. He is dark and short.
KINGSLEY: Jesus Christ!
NWANNA: From someone who does not believe in Jesus Christ. (Everyone laughs)
KINGSLEY: I don’t believe in Jesus Christ. I will proudly say it anywhere. If it was not Nwanna that told you the name of my parents then you are using magic and I don’t believe in magic either. Fuck off all of you! (He leaves through the left door. Joshua follows him immediately.)
JOSHUA: Stop! Come and receive salvation! (Nwanna runs after Joshua. Obikaego and Adisa follow him.)
III
Sir Albert’s sitting room. It is evening. The white light bulb awash the sitting room. A dining table is behind the couch at the centre stage. The photo of Sir Albert, his wife and two daughters in a big frame is hanging on the left wall of the stage. A plastic chair is at right stage and the same type of couch at the centre stage is at the left stage. Sir Albert is sitting on the couch at the left reading a newspaper. He is in shorts. Enter Nwanna. He is trousers and shirt.
NWANNA: Good evening my teacher. (moves to the down stage left)
SIR ALBERT: (drops the newspaper) I was not expecting you soon.
NWANNA: I have done what you asked me to do, I did not find God. (turns) Sir, tell me you were joking.
SIR ALBERT: You mean you invited your Muslim, Pagan…
NWANNA: Christian and Atheist friend but I did not find God in that meeting.
SIR ALBERT: (stands up) What happened at the meeting?
NWANNA: They argued throughout, cursing their religion and God.
SIR ALBERT: (laughs) And you did not see God?
NWANNA: Even when they left I came back and searched for God everywhere in my house but I couldn’t find him.
SIR ALBERT: Don’t talk like a fool. They argued throughout cursing their religion and God?
NWANNA: Yes.
SIR ALBERT: You can’t find God anywhere. God is a personal thing. God is your own construct or the society’s. That was what I wanted you to discover at the meeting with your friends. (Takes his newspaper and leaves through the right door. Nwanna moves and falls in the couch at the left stage beating his head with his left hand.)
BLACK OUT
Abuchi Modilim is an Igbo-born storyteller and playwright. He won the 2021 Arojah Students Playwriting Prize and was the first runner-up in the inaugural IKODASS Playwriting Prize 2022. He studied English and Literary Studies with a minor in Theatre and Film Studies, at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.